Friday, August 3, 2018

Laredo--Classic Western Fun Predictably Cliched

Veteran actor Philip Carey played Captain Parmalee in Laredo.

Gunfighters, heroes, villains--Laredo was one of many cliched, 1960s Western series that was popular with the public, had an all-star case, but a predictably short life.

 Screenshot of Neville Brand from the film D.O.A., 1950.

Laredo's cast was a mix of military veterans and seasoned actors, including war hero turned steely-eyed actor Neville Brand as Reese Bennett; soap opera hunk Peter Brown as Chad Cooper; William Smith, who appeared in over 300 films and television productions, as former gunfighter Joe Riley; and yet another war hero and seasoned actor, Philip Carey, as Captain Parmalee.

William Smith, from Invasion of the Bee Girls, 1973.

The series was directed by Irving J. Moore, et al, and produced by Universal Studios for NBC and ran from September 16, 1965 to April 7, 1967. It may have been yet another victim of the dwindling interest in Westerns. Then again, the dwindling interest in Westerns may have been because all of the shows that were churned out by the television studios in the late sixties were nearly identical--misfit cowboys and gunfighters thrown together by chance, form a bond and protect a town; helpless yet extremely attractive women; or themselves when they are falsely accused by the local bad guys.

The cancellation of this show was mildly surprising as it did have a combination of western and comedy, and comedies are always popular. It was also about Texas Rangers, and Texas Rangers are always popular; and, as mentioned before, it had a cast of television and film veterans along with frequent guest appearance from stars such as Kurt Russell.The actors were visually appealing and included the required one or two "hunks" in  Brown and Smith--handsome, muscular, and often shown without shirts. Between the Texas Rangers theme and the shirtless hunks, the show should have appealed to a wide audience comprised of men and women.

The problem with Laredo was not the premise of the show, or the acting. It was the writing. So many of the stories were silly and pathetically unbelievable. They lacked originality and failed to draw out the skills of the actors, which must have been an embarrassment to this veteran crew.

For example, let's take a look at the episode "The Land Grabbers," season 1, episode 12, which aired on December 9, 1965. "The Land Grabbers," the Rangers arrive to round up land grabbers trying to jump claim on prime pieces of land before the next day's land rush. The rangers have chased off a small group of land grabbers (also called Sooners) and are now informed that this is an ongoing issue before land rushes.

The Rangers arrive in town to find Land Commissioner Smoot peering over his eyeglasses, grumbling about having only three Rangers and the lack of more support. "There's 40 square miles between here and the Los Alamos River," he declares, and Captain Parmalee assures him they are more than capable as the Rangers stand back, looking very tough and predictably intimidating.

Audrey Dalton in Wagon Train, 1969. 

A woman, Mrs. Coverly--played by Audrey Dalton, yet another highly-skilled actress who moved effortlessly from film to television work and appeared in many Westerns--appears on the scene, of course, and where I smell trouble, Ranger Chad Cooper smells nothing but perfume. As Cooper flirts and Reese tells Civil War tales to the children, a small group of men is pushing their way to the front of the line in front of the Land Commissioner's tent. Yup--corporate. Big money. Corruption, and cliched. Sigh.

Reese and Cooper both arrive at the woman's tent at the same time, Reese as a guest of the woman's son, Robert. Oddly, the family speaks with greatly differing accents, a common problem in 1960s Westerns where actors were generally passed from one series to another and rarely chosen for the roles they played (for instance, there was a shocking lack of Native American actors playing the numerous roles available in 1960s Westerns). Mrs. Coverly sounds like she came from Colorado, her son sounds Australian and her father, British. But, they say they are family, so they are family.

Joe Riley sees the two men having tea with the woman and her father, Major Donaldson (Alan Napier, who was also the butler, Alfred, in the Batman series), and sneaks away. It's possible he senses trouble, but more likely he's running to tattle like a school boy on his partners--remember, men in westerns are always referred to as "boys." Riley reports the tea party to Captain Parmalee, who stomps off the chastise the wandering Rangers.

The Captain informs them that the notorious Burt Sparr is in camp with his gunslingers, intimidating the pioneers who have gathered for the land rush and registering his "boys" as homesteaders. Those darn boys again!

The townsfolk make random accusations that the Rangers might be paid off by Sparr. They are grumbling. I've often wondered what the actors say while they're grumbling. Do they say "grumble grumble grumble?" Or do they say, "hey, when is the chuck wagon coming by today?"

Captain Parmalee replies to the grumbling by stating that he will personally dismiss any Ranger who is found assisting a homesteader. This, of course, is a lead--obviously, one of the Rangers is going to assist one of the homesteaders.

Mrs. Coverly, with her wiley womanly ways, bats her pretty eyes of some or another color at Ranger Cooper and asks for his assistance with her father, who she suspects will be risking his life in the land rush. Major Donaldson intends to wear the uniform from his previous service with the Lancers as he makes his rush for a piece of land by the river. Cooper advises him to take the first piece of land he sees as the river plots are the most coveted, but Donaldson insists. The plot thickens...

Captain Parmalee tries to convince Smoot to start the race later, which would foil the plans of Smoot's men. They would ride into town to declare their ownership and discover the race didn't start yet. Smoot refuses to comply. "Take away his glasses and he couldn't tell the difference between the hind end of a camel and a horse," Captain says. Now there's a leading statement...

Without informing the Captain, the Rangers devise a plan to accidentally break Smoot's glasses, then tell him it is noon when it is actually 1 p.m., an hour later, thus buying time for the Captain's plan. Reese breaks Smoot's glasses then volunteers to assist him. When the first of the land grabbers arrive, the Rangers ride out to arrest them. Captain Parmalee tells the Rangers to return the flags and stakes to the land plots for the homesteaders. On the way, Sparr's boys knocks Riley unconscious. Surely, this will leave a brain injury of some kind.

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Major Donaldson dresses in full uniform and lines up for the race. Much to the chagrin of the homesteaders, the race starts an hour later, as the Rangers planned. Donaldson rides out to a river plot, plants his stake, then passes out. Reese guides Mrs. Coverly and her wagon to the site and the Rangers help load Donaldson into the wagon.

Cooper, of course, changes clothes with Donaldson, donning his uniform, then starts back to town to register the land, thus aiding one of the homesteaders against the Captain's orders. Sparr's men spot him and knock him to the ground, unconscious. Riley, Reese and Cooper finally meet up and return to town. Reese assists Smoot in documenting the land ownership. Smoot tries to identify Major Donaldson, but all he can see without his glasses is the uniform, which of course is worn by Cooper. Ownership is approved and Donaldson, Coverly, and her precocious little boy have their land by the river.

The last of the Land Grabbers ride in to town. Captain Parmalee raises questions about their actions based on the fact that their horses are not sweating. Smoot agrees, and they lose their land. Cooper says goodbye to Major Donaldson, Mrs. Coverly and the boy, and promises to return often to visit the lovely Mrs. Coverly. As the men ride out of town, Captain Parmalee makes suspicious comments, revealing that he is well aware of the actions of his "boys," breaking Smoot's glasses and assisting in Donaldson's grab for a piece of land.

"The Land Grabbers," the Rangers arrive to round up land grabbers trying to jump claim on prime pieces of land before the next day's land rush.

Back to our regularly scheduled program, the rangers have chased off a small group of land grabbers (also called Sooners) and are now informed that this is an ongoing issue before land rushes. "There's a smell of something for nothing in the air," Reese comments. "Yep, it's a powerful attraction," Captain Parmalee replies. I'm beginning to sense there is a corporate organization behind the land grabbers--there's a bit too many men trying to jump claims in this scene.

The Rangers arrive in town to find Land Commissioner Smoot peering over his eyeglasses, grumbling about having only three Rangers and the lack of more support. "There's 40 square miles between here and the Los Alamos River," he declares, and Captain Parmalee assures him they are more than capable as the Rangers stand back, looking very tough and scary.

A woman (Audrey Dalton as Mrs. Coverly) appears on the scene, of course, and where I smell trouble, Ranger Chad Cooper smells nothing but perfume. As Cooper flirts and Reese tells Civil War tales to the children, a small group of men is pushing their way to the front of the line in front of the Land Commissioner's tent. Yup--corporate. Big money. Corruption.

Reese and Cooper both arrive at the woman's tent at the same time, Reese as a guest of the woman's son, Robert. Oddly, the family speaks with greatly differing accents. Mrs. Coverly sounds like she came from Colorado, her son sounds Australian and her father, British. (Did I say great acting? I may have fudged a bit on that one.)

Joe Riley sees the two men having tea with the woman and her father, Major Donaldson (Alan Napier, who was also the butler, Alfred, in the Batman series), and sneaks away. It's possible he senses trouble, but more likely he's running to tattle like a school boy on his partners--remember, men in westerns are always referred to as "boys." Riley reports the tea party to Captain Parmalee, who stomps off the chastise the wandering Rangers.

The Captain informs them that the notorious Burt Sparr is in camp with his gunslingers, intimidating the pioneers who have gathered for the land rush and registering his "boys" as homesteaders. Those darn boys again!

The townsfolk make random accusations that the Rangers might be paid off by Sparr. They are grumbling. I've often wondered what the actors say while they're grumbling. Do they say "grumble grumble grumble?" Or do they say, "hey, when is the chuck wagon coming by today?"

Captain Parmalee replies to the grumbling by stating that he will personally dismiss any Ranger who is found assisting a homesteader. This, of course, is a lead--obviously, one of the Rangers is going to assist one of the homesteaders.

Mrs. Coverly, with her wiley womanly ways, bats her pretty eyes of some or another color at Ranger Cooper and asks for his assistance with her father, who she suspects will be risking his life in the land rush. Major Donaldson intends to wear the uniform from his previous service with the Lancers as he makes his rush for a piece of land by the river. Cooper advises him to take the first piece of land he sees as the river plots are the most coveted, but Donaldson insists. The plot thickens...

Captain Parmalee tries to convince Smoot to start the race later, which would foil the plans of Smoot's men. They would ride into town to declare their ownership and discover the race didn't start yet. Smoot refuses to comply. "Take away his glasses and he couldn't tell the difference between the hind end of a camel and a horse," Captain says. Now there's a leading statement...

Without informing the Captain, the Rangers devise a plan to accidentally break Smoot's glasses, then tell him it is noon when it is actually 1 p.m., an hour later, thus buying time for the Captain's plan. Reese breaks Smoot's glasses then volunteers to assist him. When the first of the land grabbers arrive, the Rangers ride out to arrest them. Captain Parmalee tells the Rangers to return the flags and stakes to the land plots for the homesteaders. On the way, Sparr's boys knocks Riley unconscious. Surely, this will leave a brain injury of some kind.

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Major Donaldson dresses in full uniform and lines up for the race. Much to the chagrin of the homesteaders, the race starts an hour later, as the Rangers planned. Donaldson rides out to a river plot, plants his stake, then passes out. Reese guides Mrs. Coverly and her wagon to the site and the Rangers help load Donaldson into the wagon.

Cooper, of course, changes clothes with Donaldson, donning his uniform, then starts back to town to register the land, thus aiding one of the homesteaders against the Captain's orders. Sparr's men spot him and knock him to the ground, unconscious. Riley, Reese and Cooper finally meet up and return to town. Reese assists Smoot in documenting the land ownership. Smoot tries to identify Major Donaldson, but all he can see without his glasses is the uniform, which of course is worn by Cooper. Ownership is approved and Donaldson, Coverly, and her precocious little boy have their land by the river.

The last of the Land Grabbers ride in to town. Captain Parmalee raises questions about their actions based on the fact that their horses are not sweating. Smoot agrees, and they lose their land. Cooper says goodbye to Major Donaldson, Mrs. Coverly and the boy, and promises to return often to visit the lovely Mrs. Coverly. As the men ride out of town, Captain Parmalee makes suspicious comments, revealing that he is well aware of the actions of his "boys," breaking Smoot's glasses and assisting in Donaldson's grab for a piece of land.


As I said, if I had any criticism of this show, it would be focused on the plot/story line, which is where my criticism of short-run television shows generally falls anyway.

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